I feel like I'm constantly talking to a wall. When I try to express my feelings or concerns, he either dismisses them, interrupts, or just zones out. It makes me feel unheard and unimportant.

Just last night, I was trying to explain how I felt overwhelmed with planning our upcoming family visit. I was trying to express that I felt like I was carrying the mental load for all the arrangements and that I needed his help and input. I started by saying, 'Hey, I wanted to talk about the visit next month...' and before I could even get to how I was feeling, he interrupted with, 'Did you book the flights yet? I saw a good deal on that airline.' I tried to steer it back, saying, 'No, not yet, but that's part of what I wanted to discuss, how we're going to divide up the tasks.' He then just sighed and said, 'Just book whatever you think is best, I'm tired.' I felt completely deflated. It was like he heard the word 'visit' and immediately jumped to a practical task without acknowledging my feelings of being overwhelmed or my desire for partnership in the planning.

His typical reaction is a mix. Sometimes he'll interrupt me mid-sentence to offer a solution, even if I haven't finished explaining the problem or just want to be heard. Other times, he'll just stare blankly, his eyes glazing over, and I can tell he's not processing anything I'm saying. He might give a non-committal 'uh-huh' or 'okay,' but it feels completely disingenuous. If I push him to respond, he might get frustrated and say something like, 'I don't know what you want me to say!' or 'Can we just drop it?'

Yes, I've tried to talk to him about it multiple times. The first few times, I tried to be gentle, saying things like 'I feel like sometimes we don't really connect when I'm trying to tell you something important.' He'd usually say something like, 'I *do* listen,' or 'What do you want me to do about it?' More recently, I've been more direct, saying 'I feel unheard when I try to talk to you about my feelings.' His response is usually to get defensive, say I'm overreacting, or that I'm always complaining. Sometimes he'll just nod along without really engaging, and then the conversation ends with him changing the subject or walking away.

Yes, definitely. It's much worse when the topic involves something he feels is a criticism of him, or when it's about household chores or responsibilities that he feels he's already handling. If I bring up something that requires him to change his behavior or acknowledge a mistake, that's when he's most likely to shut down or get defensive. Late at night, when he's tired, also seems to be a trigger. If he's stressed about work, forget about it; he's completely unavailable for emotional processing.

He's not really one to initiate deep conversations about his feelings. If something's bothering him, it usually comes out as grumbling or passive-aggressive comments, or he'll just withdraw. He's more likely to talk about practical problems or things he's interested in, like work or a new gadget, rather than emotional stuff. When he does express something, it's often brief and to the point, and he doesn't really elaborate unless pressed.